"Let's Talk About Sex... And Why I Wrote About It"

Probably the biggest hurdle to get over when I published Peeled was all of the sex.

I meant every word. I was completely authentic. Each piece is a part of me. But I could have left those parts out. That's what we do, right? We hide those parts away because society tells us that we should be ashamed of such things.

But... why? Who decided? Men, to be sure. Yes, let's shame the women and then complain when they don't want to do it... Men make no sense but that's a topic for a different time.

I've always heard the stereotype that women don't enjoy sex, aren't interested in sex, don't think about it as much as men, blah, blah, blah.

I thought it was just outdated fiction left over from when women weren't allowed to have sex outside of marital procreation. Apparently, I was wrong.

I’ve since heard the reasons why some women don’t feel comfortable with sex, and honestly? They break my heart. Like women are literally taught that sex is not "for them", that they are meant to satisfy their husbands and make babies and that's it. Women are told that the female orgasm is a myth. Really? In this day and age? Or that women are too self-conscious about their bodies. Girl, I have some body hang-ups like you wouldn't believe. But they do not carry over during sex. Before? Yep. After? Oh yeah. I'm reaching for my silk robe. But during? Fuck you, I'm getting mine and so are you and that is all that matters. And I'm pretty sure that if your partner is with you, they're happy to be there.

I was raised by a woman who took me to sex shops as a child but also taught me that sex was something to be ashamed of, terrified of, the worst thing in the world that I could ever do. Girl was both a freak and a prude.

I don't want to be a prude. I love sex and I love loving sex. It turns out I am uniquely... enthusiastic. "Fun" is a word that's been thrown around almost as much as I have. And I'm proud of that fact. I like that about me. I love my enthusiasm for trying new things. I haven't met an act I dislike yet. Giving pleasure feels as amazing as receiving it. Getting so tangled up with someone that you don't know where you end and they begin... I mean, why wouldn't we celebrate that? It's beautiful, even when it's filthy. I don't know about you, but it's the best way I know of to get my brain to just shut up for a bit. Stop overthinking. Be present.

But then there's that voice in my head saying "don't make other people uncomfortable". Well, I am not going to hide myself for your comfort. I am not going to be part of the problem. I hope that even one person reads my words and is encouraged to be their authentic selves. I know I'm not the only one. The only woman who thinks "making love" is a snoozefest and wakes up wanting to have a roll in the sheets. The only one who writes poetry about her Rabbit.

So. let me hear from you. Let your inner freak flag fly high. Things are only taboo if we make them so. We decide. And I decided that sex is too good to be treated like a shameful secret, even if secret sex is the hottest kind.